I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
