I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
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