I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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