i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
