i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
