He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
