I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I see more hoeing in ur future
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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