She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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