sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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