Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize