i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
