I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
