Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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