Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
