I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
