Got a toothbrush?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
