it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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