my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
