i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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