yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize