I'm eating all of the evidence.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
