sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
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And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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