I'm gonna have a badass scar
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
