she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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