I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
