so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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