My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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