Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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