I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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