I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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