So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
