ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I think i peed on brittanys purse
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
