I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
