Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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