I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
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the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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