If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
