Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
not ubering you a puppy
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
