im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize