It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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