Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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