So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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