i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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