And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
