return my video game
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Pooping to opera.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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