apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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