OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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