She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
