My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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