this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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