If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Even the bartender felt bad for me
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
