apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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