did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The beer is more important than you right now.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
