ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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