her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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