I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize