So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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